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Some Soviet jokes:
A flock of sheep were stopped by frontier guards at the Russo-Finnish border. "Why do you wish to leave Russia?" the guards asked them. "It's the NKVD", replied the terrified sheep. "Beria's ordered them to arrest all elephants." "But you aren't elephants!" the guards pointed out. "Try telling that to the NKVD!"
At a UN meeting in 1985, an American diplomat, surprised by the change from the old and ill Brezhnev, Andropov and Chernenko to the young and healthy Gorbachev, asks his Russian counterpart: "So what support does Gorbachev have in the Kremlin?" The Russian replies, "None, he walks unaided."
What has 40 teeth and 4 legs?
-A crocodile. What has 4 teeth and 40 legs? -The Central Committee of the Communist Party.
Brezhnev complains to Gromiko that he can't get used to summer and winter time changes.
- It's simple, replies Gromiko. Just move the hands on your clock one hour ahead in spring, and then move them one hour back in autumn.
- Well, says Breznev, that sounds really simple. Nevertheless, when I sent a telegram of my condolences to Egypt regarding Anwar Sadat's assasination last summer, it arrived one hour before his death.
A soldier keeps a mug upside down and tells the sergeant:
- I can't drink from this mug. It has no opening.
The sergeant examines the mug and says:
- You are right. And besides this, it has no bottom.
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