Quote:
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Not hate speach mind you, because I don't think that is appropriate by thought or by law.
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Hate Crime law in the States applies to
crimes of hate, not speech.
Quote:
Adjutant: "Herr general, the italians decided to start a war"
German general(thoughtfully): "Hmm... order to send 2 divisions to the italian border."
Adjutant: "No, you got me wrong, they are on our side."
General:" Damn, order to send 10 divisions to the italian border..."
Hitler walks the streets of Berlin, in disguise, to check the real attitude of the ordinary people. He approaches a bystander and asks for his opinion about his plitics. However, the bystander rejects to answer: “Well, it could be dangerous to express one’s true opinion these days.” Hitler:”Trust me, I won’t say a word.” “O.k., but don’t let my neighbors know: I think the Führer is doing a fine job.”
Hitler walks into a Berlin winestore and demands a bottle of champaigne. The wine merchant replies: ”Excuse me, due to rationing and supply shortages none is avaiable.” Hitler: “But I know you everyone sells it under the counter.” Wine merchant: “That’s a lie!” Hitler (angry): “DON’T YOU RECOGNIZE ME?” I AM THE LIBERATOR OF EUROPE!” Wine merchant (enthusiastic, to his wife): “Elfi, bring two bottles of champaigne! Mr. Churchill is here!”
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:rotfl:
So once in Poland, the Gestapo once succeeded in tracking down a notorious resistance fighter. They went to his house at night and surrounded all exists at gunpoint. The raid failed when the resistance leader escaped through the entrance.
From Wikipedia, Russian Political Jokes article:
"Comrade Stalin! This man is your exact double!"
--"Shoot him!"
--"Maybe we should shave off his moustache?"
--"Good idea! Shave it off and then shoot him!"
An international team of scientists is excavating an Egyptian pyramid. They find an unmarked
mummy. The German scientists get it first, study it for a month, and publish a 73-page paper proving it's from the
Middle Kingdom. The US scientists go in, do their thing for a week, then announce the mummy is from the
19th dynasty. Then the Russian team go in, come out a day later, and announce it's
Amenhotep the III, 19th Dynasty, 53 years of age, ruler of Egypt for 37 years. Everyone is stunned: "How did you figure that?" The Russians smile: "Oh, he confessed."
Another Moscow resident contracted laryngitis, and lost his voice, but couldn't afford medical treatment. So he went to the KGB. they assured him, "Don't worry--we will make you talk."
A hotel. A room for four with four strangers. Three of them soon open a bottle of
vodka and proceed to get acquainted, then drunk, then noisy, singing and telling political jokes. The fourth one desperately tries to get some sleep; finally, frustrated, he surreptitiously leaves the room, goes downstairs, and asks the lady concierge to bring tea to Room 67 in ten minutes. Then he returns and joins the party. Five minutes later, he bends over an ashtray and says with utter nonchalance: "Comrade Major, some tea to Room 67, please." In a few minutes, there's a knock at the door, and in comes the lady concierge with a tea tray. The room falls silent; the party dies a sudden death, and the conspirator finally gets to sleep. The next morning he wakes up alone in the room. Surprised, he runs downstairs and asks the concierge where his neighbors had gone. "Oh, the KGB has arrested them!" she answers. "B-but... but what about me?" asks the guy in terror. "Oh, well, they decided to let you go. You made Comrade Major laugh a lot with your tea joke.":rotfl:
In Soviet Russia, a judge walks out of his chambers laughing his head off. A colleague approaches him and asks why he is laughing. "I just heard the funniest joke in the world!" "Well, go ahead, tell me!" says the other judge. "I can't - I just gave a guy ten years for it!"