[Seth8530]

Dudes and dudets i have found these jokes on the axis history forum (im not nazi no worry) and some of these are vintage while others are just funny. Enjoy!

when you see a green plane its an american
when you see a brown plane its british
when you see no planes its the luftwaffe

1935 Hitler sends von Papen to the Vatican to bring the holy father on germanys side. He fails. Even Goebbels is not succesful, he returns home just with a little gift for the NSV. Then Hitler sends Goering. Three days later he receives a telegaph from Goering stating: "Mission fulfilled: The popes dead, the Vaticans burning, best wishes, your holy father!"


Adjutant: "Herr general, the italians decided to start a war"
German general(thoughtfully): "Hmm... order to send 2 divisions to the italian border."
Adjutant: "No, you got me wrong, they are on our side."
General:" Damn, order to send 10 divisions to the italian border..."

Why are there so many tree lined streets and leafy lanes in France?
Germans like to march in the shade.

Belgium's national motto:
Belgium: Gateway to France!

How do you make a German chocolate cake?
First, you occupy der kitchen.

Hitler walks the streets of Berlin, in disguise, to check the real attitude of the ordinary people. He approaches a bystander and asks for his opinion about his plitics. However, the bystander rejects to answer: “Well, it could be dangerous to express one’s true opinion these days.” Hitler:”Trust me, I won’t say a word.” “O.k., but don’t let my neighbors know: I think the Führer is doing a fine job.”
Hitler walks into a Berlin winestore and demands a bottle of champaigne. The wine merchant replies: ”Excuse me, due to rationing and supply shortages none is avaiable.” Hitler: “But I know you everyone sells it under the counter.” Wine merchant: “That’s a lie!” Hitler (angry): “DON’T YOU RECOGNIZE ME?” I AM THE LIBERATOR OF EUROPE!” Wine merchant (enthusiastic, to his wife): “Elfi, bring two bottles of champaigne! Mr. Churchill is here!”

Hitler had a dream and after he woke up he consulted a pschiatrist:
"Doctor, I saw a field in my dream and on that field there were three cows. One cow was fat one cow was cripples and one cow was blind! Tell me what this means!"
Doctor: "The fat cow, mein Führer, was your Reichsmarschall Göring, the crippled cow was Goebbels, but the blind cow, mein Führer, that is you!"

3 prisoners are talking with one of the guards of the POW camp in 1944. The first one, the American tells the others "If I go up the Empire State Buiding I can see all of New York! New York is really the greatest city in the world". The British says "If I go up Big Ben, I can see all London, isn't that fabulous?", the French then says "I f I go up the Eifel Tower, I can see all Paris! You don't have that in Berlin Fritz!". And Fritz says "In Berlin it's even better : I f I stand on one brick I can see all the city!!!"