Hello
1. The grey ship icon you see is for a ship that sunk in bad weather or close to land. When you see the message "radar signals detected" did you saved the game? If you did were you close to land as well? That should explain this behaviour. As a rule of thumb NEVER save close to other ships and close (100-50 Km or less) from land as things tend to go wrong.
2. This is a stock SH3 Bug. The Flak gunners don't open fire on their own. The solution is simple. Man the flak gun yourself, aim and fire at the direction of the target and leave the screen. After that your gunners will pick it up and keep firing.
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