Married with Children!
"I'm the only guy in the world who has to wake up to have a nightmare."
"Christmas is not the time for regrets. That's what anniversaries are for."
"Peggy : Tell me you love me, Al.
Al : I love football, I love beer, let's not cheapen the meaning of the word."
"Al : Cut to the left, cut to the left!!! Now!!! Go for the end zone!!
Bud : I thought you were looking at cheerleaders.
Al : I am. Damn cameraman's shooting their faces!!!"
"A fat woman came into the shoe store today. Wanted a pair of shoes for a christmas party. I told her to stand on her hands, put a star in her butt and go as the world's largest, ugliest tree!"
"Al: Bud, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Bud: Luscious hooters?
Al: No. That's what I should have been thinking about, but no."
