I play on "Hard" with 92% realism -- only the external cam (for screenshots). I've had limited experience with DDs, but in my one major encounter, they pinged me aggressively and sank me with depth charges. They didn't run away.
I've heard people talk as if they know where the DDs are above them. I didn't have the foggiest idea! I don't use the external cam to peek at the enemy -- just to take screenshots -- so I was fighting blind. Everything happened too fast for me to have a fix on where the enemy was. It seemed pretty realistic to me.
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