It's not bad. Watch for your hi-hat pattern change into your second section. You are going from the 'a' of your 16th-note pattern and abruptly change to the 1-e of the sequence. A small, inobtrusive fill could alleviate the slight jarring effect of the transition. Remember, a lot of these guys writing for 80's TV were all about the slick packaging. They always covered their changes.
If you don't mind me asking, what school do you attend? What do you want to do with your music?
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