[JSLTIGER]

Well...maybe the Swiss will start arming for war now that they've ended their 800-year streak of neutrality...

Can't resist:
Glab: I can think of no better place for this centre of diplomacy than here in orbit around the Neutral Planet. [She turns to the grey man.] What are your thoughts on this momentous occasion, Your Neutralness?
Neutral President: I have no strong feelings one way or the other.
[Everyone cheers, except one man.]
Zapp Brannigan: I hate these filthy Neutrals, Kif. With enemies you know where they stand but with Neutrals, who knows? It sickens me. [Kif sighs. Fry, Leela and Bender walk past with the scissors and Zapp stops them.] Halt. [They gasp.] Why, Leela, I do believe we've met.
Bender: (whispering) He means you guys did it.
Leela: If you don't mind, we're here to deliver the scissors for the ribbon-cutting.
Zapp: Then you're under arrest.
[He snatches the scissors away.]
Leela: What for?
Zapp: How do I know these scissors aren't part of some Neutral plot?
Leela: But they're not even sharp. Who could I possibly hurt with them?
Zapp: The Yarn People of Nylar 4? [He points at the pink creatures made of string.] So, a plan to assassinate a weird-looking alien with scissors. How very Neutral of you.
Leela: What?
Zapp: It was almost the perfect crime, but you forgot one thing: Rock crushes scissors ... but paper covers rock ... and scissors cut paper. Kif, we have a conundrum. [Kif sighs.] Search them for paper, and bring me a rock.
Kif: Why?
[Zapp stares at Leela.]
Zapp: So beautiful, yet so neutral. [He grabs her arms and handcuffs them behind her back.] Drag them to the ship.
Glab: And now, to cut the ribbon, the legendary DOOP captain who just returned from a triumphant carpet-bombing of Eden 7, Zapp Brannigan.
[Everyone applauds and looks around in confusion. Zapp has gone.]
[Scene: Nimbus Bridge. The Nimbus has moved away from the headquarters. Leela, Fry and Bender are handcuffed on the deserted bridge. Zapp paces around.]
Zapp: What makes a man turn neutral? Lust for gold? Power? Or were you just born with a heart full of neutrality?