You people use it wrongly, first of all, it ain't jam (jelly if you're a yank) so don't spread it so thickly.
Secondly, they used it for greasing the fish in uboats. That wasn't grease on the rag that Hit Lt Werner in Das Boot, it was vegemite. He didn't run off upset either, he ran off to suck the flavour out, and wipe his face with bread
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