Small children: Extremely precocious and annoying. Also, liable to give away my sub's position if the enemy bribes them with lollipops.
Mothers: May one day give birth to more children for the war effort.
Japanese merchant sailors: Just like Allied merchantmen, but apparently ruthless, bloodthirsty, and evil.
Hookers: What kind of game is this if I can't shoot hookers?
Empty lifeboats: Just like machine gunning a full lifeboat, except without the attendant morality issues.
Anybody who's skin is yellower than mine: They bombed us first and I can do whatever I want to them.
Inflatable liferafts: Just because the sound of air escaping from them is funny.
Mush Morton: That guy is gonna kill somebody someday!
Oil barrels: Again, what kind of game is this if I can't shoot random oil barrels and make them explode?
My own crew: They might think I'm insane when they see me killing everything in the water.
Dead bodies: May cause a danger to navigation if I don't sink them.
Tiger sharks: May kill survivors in the water before I can get at them.
B-29s loaded with incendiary bombs: It's not fair that they get to kill more unarmed people than I do.
Allied Prisoners of War: If i machine gun them, it will send a powerful message not to be taken prisoner by the Japanese.
Survivors of other Allied subs who were aboard ships I'd sunk: If I don't kill every last one of those SOBs, they'll just go back home and say I sunk them. I can't allow them to sully my career!
Icebergs: After the
Titanic, there can be no option except absolute surrender.
The future cast of
Invasion of the Neptune Men: You ever see that thing? The battle scene just goes on and on and on... Even Mike and the Bots couldn't save that thing!
Yoko Ono: Bitch has it coming.