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Originally Posted by Kapitan_Phillips
Better idea. Shoot 'em.
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Too quick! Yes, most of the "persistent and violent offenders" (I suppose these are the sociopaths) are not worth their cost in prison and they are kept there only because we lack a better option. Those damn court mistakes prevent us from increasing the scale of the death sentence. You could say very few people actually deserve a death sentence, that's completely true. Almost all of them deserve alot worse than that, to be kept alive to suffer and endure endless pain, to work for the rest of their lives to pay for their stay in prison, with interest, which will go to their victims. But that's where Australia comes in!
What was the count again? 200 extremely dangerous sea creatures in all surrounding oceans? 500 venomous land animals below every rock and behind every bush? 1000 amphibious monsters that not only swarm the water and creep around the land but are also invisible to the eye? Fine, you've got a point, if they lick those cane toads they'll die just as fast, but chances are they'll get bitten by something else first, something less lethal but just as painful, hopefully. Hmm. We could make a sport out of this. Yes, you've got a point again, "Shoot the criminal" would be a fun sport to watch, I wouldn't like playing it because I don't like shooting animals nobody will eat, though we could arrange for their carcasses to be processed and sent to Africa as Humanitarian supplies. Ooooh, humanitarian supplies. At least I've managed to fit in one good joke in this post. Humanitarian supplies...sheesh
). Still, that wouldn't be as fun as watching a rapist get raped by a kangaroo's tail. Those things are thick, and hard.
Fine, fine. This is all too complicated, it will be a hassle to take them to Australia, do you know how much a single stowaway locked inside the sewage tank of a cargo ship costs in additional fuel?
Tell you what, you get your dracula gear and give the convicts a big scare. That will teach them for life. We'll make you an Urban Legend. Count Vampilante or Vigipire. You'll be like Batman, but better. Instead of that freakish Robbin creep you'll have Catwoman as sidekick, but don't tell her she's the sidekick! It's best to let sidekicks think they're the actual protagonists, for their own good. Count Phillips von Dracula, also known as The Vampinator, roams the skies of Britain every single night looking for trouble, waiting for the next cry of help, watching suspicious behavior from above and bringing it on the bad guys.
Only one man can stop him: John Reid. Count Phillips von Dracula's top-secret hide-out can only hold so many prisioners before overcrowing aswell. Not that Count Phillips doesn't appreciate having a legion of subservient and frightened slaves. But the Batcave is beginning to smell, I forgot to put a Butler in the story, not that Count Phillips could afford one anyway, so there's no one to do the cleaning. Which means that in the end the top-secret Batcave will have to be emptied and remain so to open the place for paying tourists. Start working on that gift shop.
To avoid being sentenced to death for the crimes of perilous proximity to off-topicness and gratuitious spamming (the damn moderators have no sense of humour. Damn! I've just infringed another rule, I criticized a moderator in public![not really! I was kidding]) I will finish this post with a most adequate ponderation:
Problems with excessive imprisoning laws aside, a new fresh prison or two could help.