Whoa so many questions
First off Hi and welcome to subsim
Ok its Seawolves you bought not Grey Wolves - as Grey Wolves is a free mod and not for sale
Yes you do need the 1.4b patch
You also need the right on for your install -
http://patches.ubi.com/silent_hunter_3/silent_hunter_3_download_1.4b_us.exe
Unistall SH3 and delete all folders left
Reinstall SH3
Apply the patch then install Seawolves
( you could just unistall Seawolves but in my experience you are better off starting from scratch )
The triangles represent how good your firing angle is
Green is good Red is terrible lol
The ID book is in German as its a Uboat game
The merchants are all in one section
Handelsschiffe
You can identify who the ship belongs to by the flag it flies