[joea]

Reality TV:

http://newsbiscuit.com/article/new-r...rs-in-paradise

A new reality TV show plans to trick Muslim extremists into thinking they are taking part in a suicide bombing, and then secretly filming them as they explore what they imagine is the afterlife.
Following the success of last year’s reality TV show Space Cadets, in which contestants were duped into believing that they had been sent into orbit, Channel Four has been under pressure to raise the stakes in the competitive world of reality TV.
‘If death is the ultimate reality, then making the participants think they are dead is the ultimate reality TV show’ said producer Jeremy Gill. ‘These young extremists will really think they have died for the jihad and gone to their Islamic paradise.’
The show’s set up is quite simple. Extremist militant young Muslims will be tricked into thinking that they are about to lay down their lives in the Holy Jihad. But instead, the suicide bombs in their suitcases will only be stun grenades. When they wake up they will have no idea that they are actually in a specially prepared aircraft hangar outside Luton.
‘They believe that seventy two virgins will be waiting for them in paradise. In our version, there is only Christine Hamilton and Carol Thatcher’ explained the producer of Jihad Martyrs. ‘We thought it would be more entertaining if paradise was consistently disappointing and very badly run. Nothing works and the food is awful. Oh and God and St Peter will there too, because we these guys have to adjust to waking up in a Judeo-Christian heaven. And we made God Jewish. Channel Four does have a remit to cater for all faiths, and we wouldn’t want to cause any offence.’
The programme is already in production and the first episode will transmit next month. Police will not be informed of the identity of the suicide bombers until the end of the series, nor the secret location in which the programme is being filmed; ‘We thought it might compromise the illusion that these people were in Heaven’ said Jeremy Gill. ‘…if armed policeman suddenly burst in and pumped thirty bullets into their heads.’

This just might be the answer.

*Sits and awaits a 2000 word post by Skybird, and numerous links from Jihadwatch by Avon Lady as well as sundry miltary solutions from US posters*