[Yahoshua]

The Purina Diet

I used to have a Labrador retriever. I was buying a large bag of Purina dog food at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog (what a question).

On impulse, I told her no. I was starting The Purina Diet again. Although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time.

But that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.

Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned.

I told her no, that I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.



I don't take credit for this one either.