MONKEYS SILENCE THE BANTER
...and share the lead..
Week One in the Subsim Fantasy Football League...and don't look now, but the best damm 2-12 team in the league, the Monkeys have an equal share of the league.
And at the other end of the toilet bowl, the defending champions are already in trouble.
How do your favorite fake team do. Stand by, for we have all the details, right after this important message.
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The Helmand Nighthawks kick off the season with the local derby against the Boss Brigade - on the shortest "away" game of the season. (They took a London bus.) Lamar Jackson (QB) started the season hot putting up 32 points, and when CJ Stroud (QB) only put up 20 points for the Nighthawks, it was looking like a loss. Welcome to the field Tyree Hill (WR) and Saquan Barkley (RB) who just decimated the Bosses. In what was predicted to be a modest scoring game, the Nighthawks came out and showed they are the team to beat by putting up the highest score of the week. In the end it wasn't even close as the Helmand Nighthawks scorched the Banter Brigade 181 - 138.
The Banter Brigade had the first pick of the draft,where they choose Christian McCaffrey (RB) but it does you no good if he calls in sick at 4.30pm on Monday afternoon. The Banter were at home at Twickenham hosting the Drunk Monkeys in what became one of the best games of the weekend. Banter were out early with Kansas City (DEF) but when the Marvin Harrison Junior (WR) made his debut scoring 1 point, they were in trouble. The Monkeys had Jordy Love (QB) go out early with injury to put the win in jeopardy, but when McCaffrey called in sick, and no relief available, the game was handed to Coach Thad.Drunk Monkeys topple the Banter Brigade 128 - 70.
"Hell, yeah," he said after the game. "We're going to the playoffs."
Steady Thad, its still Week One. 
At the other end, the most disappointing game of the week were the defending champions, the Australian Taipans hosting the new expansion team, the Wasted Potential. The Taipans are still reeling from from a "costume malfunction" during the draft and barely made the field. Their only bright spot was Jayden Waddle (WR) who save them from being spat on. The Waste just showed up, went through their bowel motions and did just enough to get the win. The only bright spot for the Taipans is that the waiver wire opens this week. Final score in Australia, Wasted Potential defeats Australian Taipans 119 - 97.
It's Week One and we're already rewriting this column. Twice. In Oregon, the Who Dat Nation were hosting the Black cats. Josh Allen (QB) did his usual magic given the nation a hefty 32 points, the Cats responded with every member of their team scoring double point. On Monday night, the Cats still had the Jets (DEF) to play. Dallas (DEF) had already given the Nation 17 points so this was going to be a line ball call. Jets (DEF) gave up more points than expected and the lead for the Cats started to dwindle. A stop of 3rd and 3, forcing a punt, stopped the scoring hemorrhage. And in time too. You can have the best draft but it's the W's that count, and this week the W went to the Black cats who squeak out a victory 141.22 - 139.58. Less than 2 points. Wow.
So where does that leave us at the end of Week 1, half the teams are 1-0, the other half are 0-1. Next week we go to Pearland to see the Wasted Potential host the Drunk Monkeys.
Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.
We've had some big individual scores on opening day. For the effort of 109 yards for 2 touchdowns, 2 receptions for 23 yards and 1 touchdown, for a total of 39.20 points, the Week One MVT goes to Sequan Barcley (RB) of the Helmand Nighthawks.
