[Skybird]

These are harsh times for you. Sooner or later, we all know, the day comes we must say farewell to our parents, and the closer the relation has been, the more bitter the farewell is. We hope that if only we do not get surprised out of the blue, if only we have had time to "adapt" in advance to a slow ending of a life, we would be somehow prepared a little bit, would find it a little be easier to let the beloved one go - but truth is, we are never really prepared, we are never really adapted to the inevitable outcome of the life of beloved ones. Parents are not comrades, nor friends, they are the mother and the father, and the loss never really gets compensated, I feel. The memories can be condolenbce and pain at the same time.

My parents are old but still live, but I am afraid of the day when these events will find me, too.

My condolences to you. I wish you strength. And dont fight against the sadness, dont try to be "tough". Sadness is nature's way to heal emotional traumata, just like inflammation is the body's way to heal infection. Let it happen. Best wishes.