But no...you don't understand...there HAS to be a conspiracy...Lee Harvey Oswald is alive! No, wait, I mean...Alien autopsies did it! No, wait, I mean...maybe Oliver Stone was involved...no, wait, he planned the Pearl Harbor attack. Yeah, that's the ticket: Kevin Costner made Mel Gibson say those things! No, wait...Jim Caviezel really does speak Hebrew...no, wait, I meant Greek. Yeah, Greeks...Aristotle Onasis paid for it all...no, wait...
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