[Platapus]

Long time comedian Shecky Greene, died Sunday at age 97.



Some Shecky Gems

* What are three words a woman never wants to hear when she's making love? "Honey, I'm home!"

* Someone stole all my credit cards but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.

* We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.


* My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night; only this time I stayed in the bathroom and cried.


* My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea .


* She was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the estimate. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.


* The Doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill so the doctor gave him another six months.


* The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, "Mrs. Cohen, your cheque came back." Mrs. Cohen answered, "So did my arthritis!"


* Doctor:"You'll live to be 60!"
Patient: "I am 60!"
Doctor: "See! What did I tell you?"


* Patient: "I have a ringing in my ears."
Doctor:"Don't answer!"




Many many years of good laughs