...annnd, I'm back to square frikken' one.
Basically, the local public works doesn't want to touch this place (housing for disabled and elderly, btw) because they don't know how or don't give two squirts about running optic cable inside the walls.
So, it was either duct tape a router in one of my closets and tape phone lines to the walls or the floor OR just say "See ya later".
To top this off, my 'net dropped again just before the tech showed up to give me the bad news.

The local tech says, "Yeah, we were out to check on a site where they want to dig some holes and the Century Link folks didn't bother to show up. Most of the town got dis-connected by a back hoe.
Luckily, I never went into D.I./P-O'd Sailor Mode on a human being from Century Link. I also never dropped the bomb that I wanted to shred my contract. The local Century Link folks had a pretty good clue I was more than ready to bail on them but I stayed polite the whole time.
Watch this thread to see how it blows up.

You just know that someone's going to do some extra thinking.