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Not according to the Geneva Convention last time I checked. Fire bombing Germany, or blowing up Horoshima was not a nice thing to do, but you are right, they did it. As a human upon this Earth however, it is your responsibility to avoid innocent casualties in wartime in my book. THis is not entirely possible when attacking someone like Hezbolah, or the local Iraqi terrorist gangs, but you should at least try.
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I think western nations try to limit non-combatant casualaties. Because their militaries are controlled by the legitimate authority (read political). To do otherwise is to commit political suicide. Our problem is that groups like Hizbullah, Hamas, the PLO, IRA, SLA, Taliban, any group without legitmate political autority, have nothing to loose.
It is interesting that no other legitimate (read elected) Gov't in the region has pushed mightily for a cessation of hostilities. Probably because those Gov'ts do not exist. For the most part the Middle East is dominated by dictatorships.
Until the Middle East is made up of people who have self directed Gov'ts the slaughter of people will not end. It is not until people feel that they have a legitimate voice that they will be at peace both internally and with their neighbors.