[Rockstar]

Monkey Pox is a major worldwide life threatening disease of biblical proportions. To avoid confusion we are banning advice from your professional health care provider. As of today your health care decisions will come from mass media, YouTube personalities, Pharmaceutical CEO’s, clickbait, and politicians. As we speak government is dumping billions upon billions of your tax dollars into this problem so big pharma can begin manufacturing a never before tested vaccine derived from hyena urine and a recently discovered deciduous prickly bush, the arch enemy of all monkeys! Lawyers are also on alert and standing by to head off lawsuits against our precious and most holy pharmaceutical companies whose interest is in the ‘golden parachute’ err.. I mean who are only trying to help you. To prevent possible long term side effects from intramuscular injection the new monkey pox vaccine will by administered by enema. Unfortunately the only compatible lubricant for said procedure is Tabasco sauce. This new vaccine hasn’t been approved by science or peer review study. But don’t worry, thankfully our glorious party officials have proclaimed it to be safe, trust them. Remember if you don’t listen to the party it means you don’t care, think of the children and join the push too mandate today! This vaccine is for your own good. Authorities only demand is that you too believe.

If you have any questions regarding it’s safety or your health consult your local media headlines or party office for further guidance. Vaccine and trial data will be released after everyone who received the vaccine is dead.