My first career ended when I met a destroyer and had 25m depth to play with...

I'd have had more chances if I rammed her.
So:
Destroyers in deep waters (100+ meters): you have a chance but there are times when they'll keep you down for hours (it's their job...)
Destroyers in mid-deep waters (100 to 50 meters): you have a chance...but a lot depends on the sea conditions and destroyer crew "level", they can keep you down for hours...if you survive that long.
Destroyers and shallow waters (50 or less meters): pray! I sometimes wonder if in this range it would be better to try engage them...
As posted above: silent running is your best friend, slow speed is your best chance, showing the smallest section possible is a plus...luck is a godsend.
And patience...that helps...somewhat...perhaps.