[Commander Wallace]

Well, I'm an American so maybe this defines the average man

I'm a modern man, a man for the new millineum. Digital and smoke free
A diversified, multi cultural post modern deconstructionist.
Politically and ecologically incorrect.

I have been up-linked and downloaded imputed and outsourced
I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading.
I'm a high tech low life
A cutting edge, state of the art, bi coastal multi tasker and I can give you gigabytes in a nano second

I'm new wave but I'm old school and my inner child is outward bound.
I'm a hot wired, heat seeking, warm hearted cool customer, voice activated and biodegradable.
I interface with my database and my database is in cyber space so I'm interactive, hyperactive and from time to time, radioactive.

I'm behind the eight ball but ahead of the curve.
Riding the wave, dodging the bullet, pushing the envelope.

I'm on point, on task and on messenger and off drugs.
I have no need for coke and speed I have no urge to binge and purge.
I'm in the moment, on the edge over the top but underneath the radar.

I'm a high concept, low profile medium range ballistic missionary.
I'm a street wise smart bomb, a top gun bottom feeder.

I wear power ties and I take power naps and I run victory laps.
I'm a totally ongoing big foot slam dunk rain maker with a proactive outreach.
I'm a raging workaholic, and a working rage-aholic, out of rehab and in denial.
I have a personal trainer, a personal shopper, a personal assistant and a personal agenda.

You can't shut me up nor can you dumb me down because I'm tireless and I'm wireless.
I'm an alpha male on beta blockers laid back but fashion forward.
I'm upfront but down home, low rent but high maintenance.
I'm supersized and long lasting, high definition and fast acting, oven ready and built to last.

I'm a hands on, foot loose, knee jerk head case , prematurely post traumatic and I have a love child who sends me hate mail.

But, I'm feeling, I'm caring, I'm healing and sharing, a supportive warm hearted bonding nurturing caregiver. My output is down but my income is up. I take a short position on long bonds and my revenue stream has it's own cash flow.

I read junk mail and eat junk food I buy junk bonds and watch trash sports.
I'm gender specific, capital intensive, user friendly and lactose intolerant.

I bought a microwave at a mini mall, I bought a mini van at a mega store.
I eat fast food in the slow lane
I'm toll free, bite size ready to wear and I come in all shapes and sizes, sure to please all.
I'm fully equipped, factory authorized, hospital tested, clinically proven, scientifically formulated
medical miracle.

I have been precooked, prewashed, pre approved, pre heated, pre screened, pre packaged, post dated. freeze dried, double wrapped , vacume packed and I have am unlimited broad band capacity.

I'm a rude dude but I'm the real deal. Lean and mean, cocked, locked and ready to rock. Rough, tough and hard to bluff. However, I take it slow, I go with the flow, I ride with the tide, I have glide in my stride. Driving and moving, sailing and spinning, jiving and grooving, wailing and winning.

I don't snooze so I don't lose. I keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road, I party hearty and lunch time is crunch time.

I'm hanging in, there is no doubt.
I'm hanging tough, over and out.