Animals and the military...
I was visiting a Cav regiment (not US army...it was a European unit) before military exercises. In this country, cavalry has a long tradition of keeping animals, apart from horses for parade duties, to roam freely around the barracks. Anyway, in the barracks we were in was a mule, apart from other animals.
So...one day, while being addressed by the colonel, this mule casually walked up behind him and it's penis suddenly starts to extend (the mules, not the colonels) to about a metre and a half in length where it then commenced to open up the flood gates and take the most ginourmous piss I's ever seen. Obviously nobody could keep a straight face to the annoyance of the anally retentive colonel who was born without a sense of humour (are any of them?).
So anyway...yes, animals don't belong in the army...except as food.