madcap, after further review... I think your MP game probably had a case of "missile lag," if I can piece the situation together from what you've said.
If there is a lot going on, and someone fires a few missiles with a connection not so great, sometimes you can die and have much warning.
That kinds of sucks, but you can limit this by playing scenarios that are suited for the connection and number of players.
Cheers,
David
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LW
 
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