Guns of Hochuli Win Torpedo Bowl
...another record margin against Nighthawk.
Week Sixteen in the Subsim Fantasy Football league, and it's the final week of the year. Sixteen regular season games have come to an end and the second of the two playoff games have closed, and do we have one of the best Torpedo Bowl finals...ever. In 10 years of Subsim Fantasy Football, never have we had what happened in Wembley, England occurred.
We go around the games starting at the bottom and work our way up to the one game that represents Subsim Fantasy Football. And we'll do all that right after this message.
NOMINATE SUBSIM FANTASY FOOTBALL FOR BEST OF SUBSIM.
Let's start with the Toilet Bowl.
After yet another year where we didn't see Coach Thad, we have to ask if he and Coach FYC were using the same technique. The Monkeys had a woeful season, with their only highlight being two wins against the regular season winner, the Helmand Nighthawks. Coach FYC on the other hand with his absence was in the hunt from the first game as they established themselves as the best damm Ghost team in the league. Last week the two teams had the bye and this week they met in Carolina where it was no contest. The Cats got all their starters back, including Sequain Barkley who single handed demolished the Drunk Monkey opposition. The Drunk Monkeys were valiant but the Cats just put up too many points. In hindsight, the Black Cats quite possibly could have been playing in the Torpedo Bowl, had Coach FYC bothered to show up (again). As it was, the Black Cats easily accounted for the Drunk Monkeys 180 - 98.
Our Bronze medal Game was the Who Dat Nation hosting the Australian Taipans. Let's talk about how they got here. The Taipans lead the Sub Simmers Division for the first three weeks before releasing it to the Guns of Hochuli, and never getting it back. They went on to find new ways to loose to put up a second consecutive year of narrowest losing margins. They also proved you can find the #1 player in the waiver, but if your wide receivers don't catch the ball, you wont win the season. The Who Dat nation trailed the Helmand Nighthawks week after week through the regular season, losing divisional games which hampered their run into the playoffs. After a narrow loss to the Divisional winner, the Nation were forced into the lower bracket, where they lost to the Gunners. There would be no repeating that this week as the Who Dat Nation of Michael Thomas (WR) and Alvin Kamara (RB) easily accounted for the sub .500% team of the Australian Taipans. While the Taipans were able to add some respectability to yhe score late Sunday night and Monday, it was never going to be a "miracle". In Oregon, the Who Dat Nation for the third time this year, accounting for the Austrlaian Taipans, defeating them 173 - 132.
And now.... the Grand Finale.
Last year, the Guns of Hochuli were the lowest finishing team, a shock to the dynasty of the Gunners. This year they came to play, ever so quietly and without fanfare. They took the lead of the Subsimmers Division in Week Four and lead the entire regular season by a game. As the #2 seed, they accounted for the visiting Who Dat Nation, and set sail to to England to meet their opponent.
The Helmand Nighthawks, the team that Bill Belichick once said "wished I coached them" is the powerhouse of the league. From the first week they lead, but this year, they were closely pursued. In the last few weeks of the regular season, they almost lost their dynasty, falling to the lowest team in the league twice, and then, losing in the closest margin ever recorded in the history of our sport. It couldn't possible happen again, could it?
Gunners stacked their team to play late Sunday, so the Nighthawks went ahead early with Jimmy Garrapolo (QB), but the points scoring just wasn't there. When Deandrew White (WR) caught just one catch for one yard for the Nighthawks, you wondered if this game was going to be a boil-over. Mister Chris is not that easily swayed, as Christian McCaffrey (RB) bolstered the Nighthawks score. On last Saturday, the Gunners took a narrow lead. It would all come down to Sunday. The two teams went back and forth, trading the lead with whoever had the ball. The Nighthawks had no one playing Sunday afternoon and the Gunners had held back for the primetime. It would be the final catch of Tyree Hill (TE) for 1.4 points that would give the Guns of Hochuli a narrow lead, which they would hold until full time. In the closest scoring game of all time, the record having only been reset earlier in the month, the Guns of Hochuli become the 2019 Torpedo Bowl Champions, defeating the Helmand Nighthawks, 121.86 to 121.72. The margin lowers the closest wining score to 0.14 points - that's a yard and an inch. One yard and one inch was the difference between Gold and Silver in the Torpedo Bowl. Absolutely outstanding fantasy football played by both teams.
Congratulations to the Guns of Hochuli on their second win in the league.
Come back tomorrow as we complete the tally of votes and announce the 2019 All Star Team
Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.
Historically, the winner of the Week Sixteen award has come from the Torpedo Bowl, but with the record lowering effort, it was one player in another game, the Toilet Bowl, that shone the brightest
For the effort of 189 rushing yards with a rushing touchdown, and 4 receptions for 90 yards for a total of 49.90 points, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) are proud to present the Week Sixteen MVT to Sequain Berkley (RB) of the Black Cats.
