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Does not anyone think by now it would be better to settle the legal status of a neighbouring Ireland once and for all. Can it be at least economically independent as part of the UK, or not. If that is the problem 
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Not going to happen. The situation there is fragile like a house of cards. That is why everybody holds on so firmly to the minimal consensus (the Good Friday Agreement).
Aside from economic problems a hard border would be the best way to freeze the status quo. The GFA allows everyone in NI to get an additional passport of the republic, so they could cross that hard border without visa etc. Neither the republic nor the UK have signed the Schengen treaty, but they have established an informal "Common Travel Area" allowing people to pass the border from both sides. Keep that CTA, but control the flow of goods. That way the Brits can have their No Deal Brexit (anything else would give them the feeling they lost their face - stupid, but that's the way it is) and the Irish would not suffer that much.