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Only my loss of earlier chess competence in my young years I mourn more. I paused in chess for too many years, over a decade, and when going back to it I found that I had forgotten so much, lost so much routine and memory skill and ability to visualise, it translated into a serious loss of playing strength.

DON'T FEEL SO BAD; I, WHO ONCE DEFEATED GRANDMASTERS (ON OCCASION) CAN BARELY HOLD OUT AGAINST MY NEPHEWS AND EVEN THE GREATS HAVE A BAD DAY: https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2018/nov/21/world-chess-championship-game-9-carlsen-caruana

“I felt like I had a comfortable advantage and then I just blew it,” a clearly disappointed Carlsen said in the immediate aftermath. “I was poor.”
The nine straight draws is the longest streak of games to open a match without a decisive result in the recognized 132-year history of the world chess championship.

MY GENERAL STYLE SINCE THE AGE OF FOUR WHEN MY DAD TAUGHT ME THE GAME, IS TO PLAY ROCK-SOLID DEFENSE 'TILL THE OPPOSITION MAKES AN ERROR; THEN CAPITALIZE! A TECHNIQUE ADAPTED FROM MY DAD'S SUPERB TENNIS STYLE AND WRESTLING IN HIGH SCHOOL & COLLEGE AS WELL. MY COLLEGIATE OPPONENTS-OF-CHOICE: AN ESTONIAN AND A CUBAN REFUGEE TAUGHT ME A LOT OF RUSSIAN-STYLE PLAY OVER FOUR YEARS-I SELDOM WON. PERSONALLY AND CAREFULLY PLAYING OUT ALL THE FISHER/SPASSKY GAMES DURING MY OWN 70'S COLLEGE DAYS REALLY PROVED MOST ILLUMINATING; IE: THESE GUYS MAKE MISTAKES TOO IN THE HEAT OF COMPETITION SO NO NEED TO BE IN AWE OF AN OPPONENT-JUST WAIT FOR IT (THE MISTAKE)! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_Chess_Championship_1972#Game_1:_Spassky–Fisc her,_1–0_(Nimzo-Indian) PS: ONE DEFEATED GRANDMASTER SHOOK MY HAND AND SAID HE'D HAVE TO WARN HIS FELLOW GRANDMASTERS THAT "I'M OUT THERE" I LOVED IT! MY DAD QUIT PLAYING ME BY AGE EIGHT!