[Jimbuna]

The Geordie Temperature Scale

10 degrees - Southerners turn on the heating; Geordies plant gardens.
4 degrees - Southerners shiver uncontrollably; Geordies sunbathe.
1 degree - Southern cars won't start; Geordies drive their cars with the window down.
-6 degrees - Southerners wear coats, gloves and wool hats; Geordie men throw on a t-shirt and women wear mini-skirts instead of bikinis.
-10 degrees - Southern landlords turn up the heating; Geordies have the last BBQ before it gets cold.
-17 degrees - Southerners begin to evacuate; Geordies go swimming in the North Sea.
-25 degrees - Southerners cease to exist; Geordies throw on a lightweight jacket.
-60 degrees - Polar bears wonder if its worth it; Geordie boy scouts start wearing long trousers.
-75 degrees - Santa Claus abandons the North Pole; Geordies put on their long johns.
-113 degrees - Alcohol freezes; Geordies become frustrated because the pubs are shut.
-182 degrees - Microbial life starts to disappear; the cows on the Town Moor complain of farmers with cold hands.
-273 degrees - All atomic motion stops; Geordies start to stamp on the ground and blow on their hands.