‘Sorry aboot that, eh’ — Canadian sniper apologizes after record-breaking kill shot
By Cat Astronaut On
Jun 24, 2017
Photo Credit:
Dvids
OTTAWA — A
Canadian sniper apologized today after he was confirmed to have scored the longest lethal shot on record, according to sources.
The sniper, whose identity is being withheld for operational security reasons, said he was sorry both to the ISIS fighter he killed and to the former record-holder, British
soldier Craig Harrison, whose record his 2.2-mile shot smashed by over 3,000 feet.
“Sorry aboot that, eh,” the sniper supposedly said as the .50 caliber round ripped through the insurgent’s thoracic cavity. “I thought that was a dern moose, friend.”
According to experts, Canadian standard operating procedure is to ask a target’s permission before ending his life, so as to maintain a spirit of good sportsmanship.
“We’re all aboot friendship and fair play up here in Canada, even if we’re just killing a bunch of hosers like ISIS,” said Canadian military spokesman Mick Robinson. “All the famous Canadians that everyone’s heard of like Frank Boucher and Jack Bionda would tell you the same, buddy.”