AndyJWest

Here's one I posted on the IL-2 BoS forum a few years back.

Little Willy Messerschmitt

Little Willy Messerschmitt,
had a plan, and worked on it.

Made a sketch,
then thought a bit.

Thought some more,
and rubbed his jaw.

Thought again,
then off he tore.

"Paper, pencils!" (sharpened fine...)
"I must start my new design".

"Needs a number...
One oh nine!"


Little Willy Messerschmitt,
set his men to building it.

Skinny wings
and tight cockpit.

Scrounged an engine -
from Rolls-Royce!

"T'will do for now,
but not first choice!"

"JUnkers Jumo, Daimler Benz -
best to get them from your friends!"

'Till prototype was looking fine,
'was the Bee eff One oh nine.



Little Willy smiled with glee -
Herman Goering came to see!

Herman stood all smug and beaming,
looking at the plane all gleaming.

Herman peeked below the wings,
kicked the wheels, and suchlike things.

Herman went to phone the Feurher
"Praise and medals, nothing surer!"

Soon came Furher, in Mercedes
along the streets all lined with ladies,

throwing roses, singing praises,
(Goebbels was providing wages...)

"Come on Herman get inside,
take the fighter for a ride".

Herman could have looked much surer
but came the order from the Furher...

Herman huffed and puffed and panted
and up upon the wing he mounted

Up he went into cockpit
struggled, wriggled just a bit,

soon apparent, problem hit,
Herman Goering wouldn't fit!

The Furher cracked a rare sly grin,
Herman stuck - half out, half in!

Little Willy thought a bit,
how Herman from the tight cockpit,

could be induced to make his exit,
with dignity, so he can't wreck it.

Dignity was though soon forgotten
Herman then in lard was sodden

Soap and oil was all applied,
'till from the cockpit he did slide.

The Furher left in his Mercedes,
Buxom women singing praises

Herman left in dressing gown,
-one he'd loaned from Eva Braun.

Little Willy Messerschmitt
thought at this and grinned a bit

Then his desktop lamp he lit
Chewed his pencil, sharpened it,

Herman gone, can't take the credit,
interfere or elsewise wreck it.

Little Willy worked away
through dark until Sun's first ray,

Worked again all through the night
"Now I've got it looking right"

It's my design, and only mine,
My pretty Bee eff One Oh Nine!.

© Andrew West 2013. All rights reserved.

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Another one, previously posted on the RoF forum.

Tom Sopwith and the carpenters (with apologies to Lewis Carroll)


"The time has come", Tom Sopwith said,
"To talk of many things:
Of ribs and struts and bracing wires,
And planes with triple wings.
To twist and turn, and loop and climb
and run around in rings".


"A rotary is what we need,
behind, a Vickers gun:
two wheels, a prop,
And suchlike 'till it's done.
We'll send it up into the clouds
To perforate the Hun".


Tom Sopwith set his men to work,
upon his new contraption
They hammered, sawed and glued and screwed
till driven to distraction,
then broke for tea, and biscuits (three!),
continued with the lamps on.


All through the night (the Moon was bright)
They worked on Tom's invention
Of canvas, wood, of cloth and dope
And wires all tight with tension
assembled all from wheels to tail
And then they fixed the wings on.


The pilot sat inside the Tripe
behind the Vickers gun
they spun the prop, and off he shot
to climb up to the sun
to turn and loop, and wheel about
and perforate the Hun.


The German in his Albatross
was clueless what was coming
The triplane pounced, then wheeled right round
and went on with its gunning
The Huns below, all saw the show,
Astonished at such cunning.


So off they went, all giving vent,
to see their best constuctor
With gutteral curse, and language worse,
they barked out urgent order
To build and fly, as their reply
A triple-winged destructor.


"Tis time", Anthony Fokker said
"To talk of many things
Of ribs and struts (no bracing wires!)
And planes with triple wings.
To twist and turn, and loop and climb
and run around in rings…"


© Andrew West 2012. All rights reserved.