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Platapus · 01-04-17, 05:13 PM

If you reverse the genders, this sounds like the last 10 years of my life. Since I have already paid the therapist, please allow me to share what they (yes multiple) said primarily to The Frau.

He is, and will always be a part of your wife's family and by extension yours. As such you owe him, and he is entitled to

1. Your love
2. Your acceptance
3. Your understanding and sympathy

Make sure that he understands this. He won't acknowledge it and he certainly won't show any appreciation, but it is important for him to know that. He may, rashly, immaturely, and emotionally tell you that you two need to stay out of his life. Don't believe him. He does not believe it. The last thing he wants is to sever all ties to his family.... despite what he says.

You don't owe him any money nor do you owe him solutions to his problems. You don't have to agree with his actions. You can't control him nor do you have any responsibility for what he does.

He bares all the responsibility for the consequences of his actions. But he should not bare them alone.

At first I did not believe this line of BS as I was very angry at The Frau's daughter. Angry and resentful.

The therapist told me that her daughter (in your case her son) is acting in an immature, stupid, emotional and potentially self destructive manner... .that does not mean that I (you) have to act the same way.

It ain't easy, it still ain't easy. I still have anger and resentment issues. Not going to sugarcoat it. I just keep in mind that as a parental unit, the ultimate goal is for this stupid undeserving, ungrateful, idiotic kid become a functional adult in our society.

That's why we parents, get paid the big bucks

My sympathies are with you. Good luck with this.

PS. Make sure you are taking care of your wife. She is also a victim in all of this.

01-04-17, 05:13 PM	#6
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 19,382 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	If you reverse the genders, this sounds like the last 10 years of my life. Since I have already paid the therapist, please allow me to share what they (yes multiple) said primarily to The Frau. He is, and will always be a part of your wife's family and by extension yours. As such you owe him, and he is entitled to 1. Your love 2. Your acceptance 3. Your understanding and sympathy Make sure that he understands this. He won't acknowledge it and he certainly won't show any appreciation, but it is important for him to know that. He may, rashly, immaturely, and emotionally tell you that you two need to stay out of his life. Don't believe him. He does not believe it. The last thing he wants is to sever all ties to his family.... despite what he says. You don't owe him any money nor do you owe him solutions to his problems. You don't have to agree with his actions. You can't control him nor do you have any responsibility for what he does. He bares all the responsibility for the consequences of his actions. But he should not bare them alone. At first I did not believe this line of BS as I was very angry at The Frau's daughter. Angry and resentful. The therapist told me that her daughter (in your case her son) is acting in an immature, stupid, emotional and potentially self destructive manner... .that does not mean that I (you) have to act the same way. It ain't easy, it still ain't easy. I still have anger and resentment issues. Not going to sugarcoat it. I just keep in mind that as a parental unit, the ultimate goal is for this stupid undeserving, ungrateful, idiotic kid become a functional adult in our society. That's why we parents, get paid the big bucks My sympathies are with you. Good luck with this. PS. Make sure you are taking care of your wife. She is also a victim in all of this. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.