The only "neutral" port that I know of where you can refit is in Spain. However you are actually refiting at a German merchant ship that is in the port. If you zoom in on the port you'll see a friendly port icon at the docks, clicking on it will show the ship name. I can't remember which port in Spain it is, it's on the Atlantic side.
All that being said I've only played the Coastal Waters campaign and just a little of the Mediterranean one.
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