Welcome back Red October
What you are looking for is definitely The Wolves of Steel or Sobers Mega Mod. Both are very good and offer the best of SH5, in terms of realism and balanced gameplay.
Sobers Mega Mod offers more options for customization as it is a collection of individual mods which you might enable/disable according to your taste and playing style, but the install process might take a bit longer, and you need to download the mods that are part of it one by one. On the other hand, TWoS is an all-in-one package with just a few optional mods that you can enable for custimizing your game, but it is perhaps more stable, as the mods it contains have been optimized/tweaked for working well together. Not to mention the fact that it got some unique features and bug fixes developped purposedly for it, that have not been made available as separate mods.
