Another thought, why don't we carry out a shore raid, grab ourselves some old inner tubes, powerful length of knicker elastic, old rubber bands and anything else stretchy. Then we rig up a catapult and ping Aktung straight at the nearest passing ship with a suitable length of anchor chain and he can hook us up that way.
Blessings be upon you my son.
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Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way...
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