[August]

Originally Posted by Subnuts

Some pro-tips from a lifelong New Englander:

• Make sure to buy at least $100 in Banquet frozen dinners for every inch of snow forecasted.
• Be sure to arrive at the grocery store two hours before the time the snow is forecasted to begin, when there is no more shopping carts or salt left in the store.
• Never, ever shovel your sidewalk. Doing so is a sign of weakness.
• Don't slow down when you're driving. If you go off the road, there's plenty of soft fluffy snow to land in.
• Make sure to continuously blare your horn at every pedestrian who has elected to walk in the street, rather than in three feet of snow.
• If you lose power, call every restaurant in the area to see if any of them have a generator, because you bought nothing but frozen dinners and can't heat them.