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Gut Wrench · 10-12-15, 10:47 PM

NIGHTHAWKS SOAR
Who Dat Makes the Cats Pay

Week 5 in the Subsim Fantasy Football League. Stay tuned as we go around the pretend grounds, taking in the top two pretend teams, the bottom two pretend teams, and the pretentious scores associated with all fabricated games.

We'll tell you who the new red hot favorite to win the league, who might be looking for a new coach, and thanks to Le'Veon Bell, our first Monday Night rewrite this year.

NOMINATE SUBSIM FANTASY FOOTBALL FOR BEST OF SUBSIM..OR THE TERRORISTS WIN.

It was a game of intrigue. The Black Cats were ready to go on the road to Oregon where the Who Nation Nation Rising was waiting for them. The biggest questions of the week would be who the Cats would start and sit. The Cats were filled with players who had preapproved absence requests in for this week to attend Frocks on the Foreshore, and it would bemoan coach FYC to let them all start. The Coach went to the waiver wire early in the week and picked up....absolutely nobody. Instead, he shuffled his players around to second and third stringers, even choosing not go give up his kicker and still play without any points from the boot, rather than give up his team.

Veteran commentator John Madden was questioned about this move and he responded, "Not seen that since the 2015 Lions. Boom."

And the Cats went boom too. While Doug Martin (RB) rushed for 42 points on his own, leaving both a kicker and a WR open with zero points meant the Cats were always going to have a furball. Who Dat Nation wins easily 142 - 105.

How about that lack luster bottom of the table clash between the Drunk Monkeys and the Australian Taipans. The official crowd attendance of that game was 12, and there were even talks that some of the spectators showed have got a start between these two 1-3 teams. The Drunk Monkeys coming off a narrow win, have consistently put up about 125 points a week. The Taipans, until this game have had having more points scored against them than any other team. Fortunately, the Monkeys, once again the model of consistency, scored the required amount and put the Taipans away, handing off the wooden spoon. Drunk Monkeys get off the bottom of the ladder, outscoring the Taipans 124 - 97.

Looking at the Taipans, several outspoken media representatives have commented on their fall from grace.

Cowboy Neal said "All I wanted for my birthday was a Taipan win."

(Editors note: Happy Birthday Neal from the Associated Subsim Writers, the check is in the mail.

)

Now, we get to the most interesting game of the week. The Helmand Nighthawks, looking for the Immaculate Season, rode into town to duel the Guns of Hochuli. The Gunners, early picks for the league champion, have stumbled lately. Two weeks ago they were beaten by the highest score ever seen in the league, and last week they were barely beaten by the Taipans (who had no business winning anyway.) This week, they put their artillery on and battled the Nighthawks.

The Nighthawks, week after week, have had multiple stars shine with record games, and this was no exception. QB Tom Brady passed for 26 points, RB DeMarco Murray ran for 25 points, even the Cardinal defense scored 14 points for the Nighthawks. The Gunners, despite the effort of De Andrew Hopkins and O'Dell Beckam who combined for over 65 points, were let down by RB Alfred Morris, who scored a pitiful 1.5 points. That one player who failed to perform, cost the Gunners as they fall to their third straight loss, 167-146.

In a bizarre twist of scheduling, next week we go across the pond to see the Helmand Nighthawks host, umm, the Guns of Hochuli, again. Commissioner Pioneer in his first year screwed up the schedule and has these two teams playing each other in back to back weeks. While highly anticipated by the bookies, it does in fact leave the way open for the Gunners to rise or fall in the standings, depending on the earlier game being played between the Who Dat Nation. Just like this week, this match up may very well determine the #1 seeding at the end of the season. And we'll be there watching from the Press Box at Wembley Stadium, as the Helmand Nighthawks set about to stretch their two game lead.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

For the effort of 153 rushing yards, 7 receptions for 44 yards and 1 rushing touchdown, for a total of 38.70 points, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present Da Vonte Freeman of the Who Nation Nation Rises the Week Five MVT.

10-12-15, 10:47 PM	#10
Gut Wrench Watch Officer Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Everywhere Posts: 342 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	NIGHTHAWKS SOAR Who Dat Makes the Cats Pay Week 5 in the Subsim Fantasy Football League. Stay tuned as we go around the pretend grounds, taking in the top two pretend teams, the bottom two pretend teams, and the pretentious scores associated with all fabricated games. We'll tell you who the new red hot favorite to win the league, who might be looking for a new coach, and thanks to Le'Veon Bell, our first Monday Night rewrite this year. NOMINATE SUBSIM FANTASY FOOTBALL FOR BEST OF SUBSIM..OR THE TERRORISTS WIN. It was a game of intrigue. The Black Cats were ready to go on the road to Oregon where the Who Nation Nation Rising was waiting for them. The biggest questions of the week would be who the Cats would start and sit. The Cats were filled with players who had preapproved absence requests in for this week to attend Frocks on the Foreshore, and it would bemoan coach FYC to let them all start. The Coach went to the waiver wire early in the week and picked up....absolutely nobody. Instead, he shuffled his players around to second and third stringers, even choosing not go give up his kicker and still play without any points from the boot, rather than give up his team. Veteran commentator John Madden was questioned about this move and he responded, "Not seen that since the 2015 Lions. Boom." And the Cats went boom too. While Doug Martin (RB) rushed for 42 points on his own, leaving both a kicker and a WR open with zero points meant the Cats were always going to have a furball. Who Dat Nation wins easily 142 - 105. How about that lack luster bottom of the table clash between the Drunk Monkeys and the Australian Taipans. The official crowd attendance of that game was 12, and there were even talks that some of the spectators showed have got a start between these two 1-3 teams. The Drunk Monkeys coming off a narrow win, have consistently put up about 125 points a week. The Taipans, until this game have had having more points scored against them than any other team. Fortunately, the Monkeys, once again the model of consistency, scored the required amount and put the Taipans away, handing off the wooden spoon. Drunk Monkeys get off the bottom of the ladder, outscoring the Taipans 124 - 97. Looking at the Taipans, several outspoken media representatives have commented on their fall from grace. Cowboy Neal said "All I wanted for my birthday was a Taipan win." (Editors note: Happy Birthday Neal from the Associated Subsim Writers, the check is in the mail. ) Now, we get to the most interesting game of the week. The Helmand Nighthawks, looking for the Immaculate Season, rode into town to duel the Guns of Hochuli. The Gunners, early picks for the league champion, have stumbled lately. Two weeks ago they were beaten by the highest score ever seen in the league, and last week they were barely beaten by the Taipans (who had no business winning anyway.) This week, they put their artillery on and battled the Nighthawks. The Nighthawks, week after week, have had multiple stars shine with record games, and this was no exception. QB Tom Brady passed for 26 points, RB DeMarco Murray ran for 25 points, even the Cardinal defense scored 14 points for the Nighthawks. The Gunners, despite the effort of De Andrew Hopkins and O'Dell Beckam who combined for over 65 points, were let down by RB Alfred Morris, who scored a pitiful 1.5 points. That one player who failed to perform, cost the Gunners as they fall to their third straight loss, 167-146. In a bizarre twist of scheduling, next week we go across the pond to see the Helmand Nighthawks host, umm, the Guns of Hochuli, again. Commissioner Pioneer in his first year screwed up the schedule and has these two teams playing each other in back to back weeks. While highly anticipated by the bookies, it does in fact leave the way open for the Gunners to rise or fall in the standings, depending on the earlier game being played between the Who Dat Nation. Just like this week, this match up may very well determine the #1 seeding at the end of the season. And we'll be there watching from the Press Box at Wembley Stadium, as the Helmand Nighthawks set about to stretch their two game lead. Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance. For the effort of 153 rushing yards, 7 receptions for 44 yards and 1 rushing touchdown, for a total of 38.70 points, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present Da Vonte Freeman of the Who Nation Nation Rises the Week Five MVT.