With my very limited experience playing RFB and TMO, RFB is probably the more realistic technically speaking but I've always understood that TMO was designed to make you behave more like a real sub commander would by way of what may be considered "unrealistic" tweaks.
Both mods are very good from what I've seen and it is probably a matter of taste. I lean more towards TMO. Unfortunately I have not tried the latest version of TMO.
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