[Stealhead]

Originally Posted by in_vino_vomitus

Interesting discussion. It brought a couple of things to mind regarding feeding which may or may not be relevant. I had a manager once, when I worked for a communications company that I'll call Cellphone Whorehouse - anyway she used to bring food in for the team - sweets mostly, cakes sometimes. Anyway there was one particular day when I didn't feel like filling my body with sugar, so I politely declined, which went down surprisingly badly with my boss. I mean she was obviously annoyed, and yet she - to my mind - had no reason to be. I mean it's not like I had asked her for the goodies or even known in advance they were going to be proffered.

That incident brought to mind something about my mother, who also had a thing about feeding. She'd ask me if I was hungry and I'd say no; She'd follow that up with "well would you like [insert food here]? I'd refuse again and the offer would be repeated with a different food. It would turn into a battle of wills and it never ended well - Anyway, my point is that I think that sometimes people use food as a compliance game, if that's the right word. The aim being to.... Actually I'm not sure what the aim could possibly be except to get you doing what the other person wants instead of what you want. It does rather tick me off. I mean No means No for the little things too.

Not sure if this is particularly what the OP was thinking of, but it did rather remind me - And humans have a really complex relationship with food, compared to every other animal on the planet. Sometimes it's hard to see that as a good thing....

On the other hand I'm torn between having a couple of croissants for breakfast, or Huevos rancheros which I guess wouldn't be an option if we didn't have that relationship with food. Time to stop writing I think - i feel an essay coming on

Finally someone understands what I am saying.

Lets take the the idea of asking for a "doggie bag" or turning down completely or wanting less. All of these can and do offend people so in fact those are not always viable options. Especially if the person is a little funny about food. It is not like I encounter this kind of thing very often and to be honest when I do you can bet that I wont go to that person's house for a meal again. To me when they are forcing what they have on you beyond what you wanted if they asked it seems as though they are trying a control thing on you which they will be offended at if you refuse. At the end of the day that is rude/inappropriate even if the person is a guest.Is it not also the goal of a good host to make the guest feel comfortable with in reason?

Being a guest is one thing yes but a person should also be a good host it is a two way street.

For example anyone every see the show Long Way Round? Ewan Mcgregor and a friend ride bikes from the UK East all the way to the US. Part of the trip was through Mongolia and they got invited into a family yurt. While they where cooking in effect cow,goat and sheep ball soup luckily the lady was not a control freak and she only gave them one ball a peace because they said "I only want a small amount".