Just offered up my services as a backing dancer for One Direction when they play at the Stadium Of Light next month.
Their agent responded with "Are you any good?"
I told him "Well not really, but to be fair neither are the other 11 useless sods that dance around there every weekend for lots of money".
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Never trust the Tories look what Thatcher and Major did in the 80s and 90s and look what the wicked witch May is doing now doing now 
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