Have a look at some of the mod lists (sobers mega mod, sjizzles mod list, Fifi's mod list) for load oder. I'm personally using a version similar to sober's.
If a mod has several mods inside it, usually the main mod goes first, then the optionals. You only need to install optionals if you're certain you need them. Just make sure to read all the readme files and you'll know what to do with what.
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