[Jimbuna]

Originally Posted by kranz

I had a similar situation a few years ago. I was lost in my F-16 'somewhere' over Europe. All the electronics were down, left my compass at home and the crystal ball on the backseat. I nearly commited a suicide by f####ing into the breathing system. After i regained consciousness i spotted a wicked metal construction resembling a tower. Since i hate those Frenchies i dropped one of my bombs but eventually i was pretty happy to see that landmark as i knew where i was. However, the moment the bombs exploded i saw a creepy dog with a human face. 'Egypt - da fuq?', I thought. I made a few corrections in my not working navigation and turned the auto-pilot on. I took a short nap but all of a sudden i was woken up by a series of loud bangs. I reduced the speed and realised that a bunch of black people was throwing stones at my fighter. 'Ah - dem unmannered Africans'. I didnt see any camels, only cars with 'illinois' license plates. I figured out that it was a new way in which white people branded color people ('ill-inois' as if they were sick - so i dropped two napalm bombs to put an end to this blatant example of appartheid. I put another waypoint on a piece of toilet paper my mum packed into my posh fighter. The paper served as an ad hoc map. For safety reasons i encrypted the waypoint as 'nelson mandela' (in case i was shot down). A few bottles of whidky later, i was still lost. I was losing altitude as my furl reserves were dropping drastically. Releasing the remaining bombs, the diapers and ejecting Susan The Hooker didnt help much and i was approaching the ground too fast. 'I'm too young to die. I havent tasted a virgin, killed a Jew and planted a tree so why do i have to die Dear Adonai? Why me?' - I was thinking. He must have heard my prayers because at the altitude of 10 meters i saw a huuuuuge road sign 'Marlboro' and a guy on the horse in the background. I'm saved, i shouted as i recalled the 287 highway in New Jersey. I managed to land safely on the belly as i completely forgot about the landing gear. Fortunately there was no fuel in the tanks so there was no explosion. While i was leaving the cockpit...to be continued

Some pieces are open to individual interpretation...stay on course and within acceptable politically correct boundaries if you'd be so kind.