I have found the problem, took all the mods out 1 by one and i didnt find it but then i took out the mods in batches of 4 and finally located the issue, the Depthcharge shake v2.01 mod was conflicting with something but am not sure what its conflicting with. so i took it out and now i have no issues. have played now 5 single missions all the naval academy and 4 patrols in career and not a single ctd after i removed that mod.
Thanks to everyone for there suggestions. and maybe this thread will help others if they get a ctd when depth charges are dropped.