WELCOME ABOARD!
I'm not sure what you mean by "No map updates". I haven't played in awhile, but I'm pretty sure you can have map updates on with GWX. Also, I've seen many single ships. I'm not saying you're wrong, just trying to understand the problem you're having.
"Must have" mods is a problem, because there are hundreds of mod available and what is a "must have" to one player can be a bad joke to another. As for mods threads, did you mean this one?
http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showthread.php?t=170090