This place stinks! Proverbially and literally! They say it's called Big Town, but all I see is six shacks and not a single mall or even four star restaurants. What kind of lame town doesn't take care of its most basic services?
Asking the locals isn't very helpful either. I mean, either they don't even know the concept of having fun...
OR THEY ARE DIRTY OLD MEN!!!! GET AWAY FROM ME!!!!
These houses don't even have a cable TV. Now that's lame! How can these people ever imagine to learn anything if they don't have a TV?!
Apparently the best thing you can do here is to sleep. Boooriiiing!
Hey no wait! It seems this person is not sleeping but unconscious. So there must be apple cider somewhere in here, after all! Good thing I'm a highly trained medical expert! I know that you can wake up an unconscious person by controlling the blood circulation and for that you need to press just the right spot in the wrist here.
But the text book said that something should be avoided in any conditions. What was it again? I had a litle hangover when I took that exam. I think it was something about not...
...err, pressing too hard. Hello? Mr. Heart? Are you there?
...poo...
Well, good thing I'm highly educated expert in the art of forensic science as well. I know that after something like this happens, the first step is to hide the body.
Disguising him as a table should be enough to absolve me of all guilt.
Of course it wouldn't hurt to increase the velocity of my steps into the 180 degrees direction from the crime scene by 50,635726 % either.