[Sailor Steve]

Originally Posted by Sammi79

I was brought up firmly agnostic, neither position on belief was encouraged or discouraged, for which I am grateful.

I guess that sort of applies to me as well. I like to say that I was brought up nothing at all. Nothing was ever said about it one way or the other.

So we came to similar conclusions after having life experiences half a world apart I guess. As a born agnostic and grown atheist if you will, I assume our experiences are markedly different. If I may ask, did you find any part of your transition unpleasant in any way, and how long did it take you?

Yes, no, maybe, maybe not. My stepmother made me go to chuch a couple of times. I've never been sure why, because she didn't go herself. Maybe she thought it would do me some good. When I was seventeen I became a Mormon. This was in Los Angeles, and it happened not because of any quest on my part, but because my best friend was doing so and they made it look pretty cool. This led me to spend a year in Utah at Brigham Young University. I hated it, not because of anything particular, but because college wasn't for me. I joined the navy. I got out of the navy. I moved to Utah. I met a girl who was a Born-Again Christian. I like her church, because it wasn't a church. On Sundays we met in a very large park and weekday bible meetings were at people's houses. I ended up married for eleven years. I was never an aggressive person, so my wife sort of guided everything we did. I gave up music for her, and pretty much everything else I liked. I started suffering from depression (a side note here: looking back I think I probably had a very real depression problem going back to childhood), and withdrew into myself. She thought I wanted a divorce and gave it to me. I was so far gone I didn't really care anymore. I didn't even grab the chance and start playing music again for another six years.

Since then I've come to realize that I really don't have any answers to any of the major questions, and I wonder if anyone else does. Everyone I've met who claims to have answers seems to be operating within a very narrow framework, usually clinging to one answer which seems to work for them, so they claim it's the only answer and insist it will work for me too. I don't blame anyone else for my disaffections or my problems, but I don't trust anyone else with them, especially people who say they know what's wrong and what can fix it.

It would gladden me to hear that you did not suffer.

Sorry, but I've left out a lot. Suffering seems to be what I do best.

Not much I grant you, but I like it.

Not bad at all. Do you have music for it? A link?

P.S. sorry for the text explosion I don't quite know how I became so verbose. I really enjoy discussions on this forum, like no other.

Introspective people sometimes have to let it out. Others think "He just likes to talk about himself", but it helps.