First off, the Silent Hunter stock games are bad.
TMO- Upgrades the A.I. and adds some features. This mod makes it hard so you start making decisions like a real captain would. Very fun.
RSRDC- Makes a more realistic campaign
Traveller's Mod- Upgrades the damage model and allows you to sit on the ocean floor among other things
For SH4, you cannot miss these mods. You have to have the U-boat Missions expansion to use them though. Get that if you just ordered the standard edition. If you ordered the Gold edition, you don't need it.
Welcome to subsim and happy hunting! If you have any questions, feel free to PM me.