[donna52522]

Originally Posted by frau kaleun

I just love it when somebody decides that not having children is a selfish decision. There are plenty of ways to be an unselfish person without taking on a responsibility you don't want and aren't prepared to devote yourself to 100% - which is, or should be, a necessity where a child is involved.

My time and attention and energy are my own, to do with what I wish. It's the same for everybody else. Some people want to devote a good bit of those things to children. I don't... just like I don't want to devote my free time to yard work, which is why I'll buy a condo but never a house, nor do I want to devote my free time to walking a dog on a leash so it can do its business and get some exercise and fresh air, which is why I'd never have a dog without a fenced yard to let him run around in on his own.

If I had some burning, insatiable desire to do yard work or have a dog, those sacrifices would be worth it. If I had a burning, insatiable desire to raise children, the sacrifices required for that would be worth it. But the desire isn't there, so why should I sacrifice anything for something that I don't want and am content to live without? That doesn't make me selfish, it just means I've made the choices - and thank heavens I live in a world where I'm able to make them - that I feel are best for me instead of doing what other people think I'm supposed to do and having what other people think I'm supposed to have.

That's far less selfish IMO than having a kid because I've been pressured or conditioned into thinking that I'll never be "complete" without one, or to please someone else, or for any other reason than a burning insatiable desire to reproduce. Children are srs biznss, raising them is a HUGE responsibility. I'd have to want it really bad to even embark on that adventure. Anything less wouldn't really be fair to the child.