It depends on what mod you are using. If using stock, don't bother even thinking about RL, you'll be attacked by a 1944 DD in december '41 (hell, probably like 10 of them will attack you).
RSRDC has realistic loadouts for DCs (cause I mostly did the ASW assets for that). Unsure about TMO, which likely errs on extras, rather than exact or not enough. Note that the ASW assets do not throw proper patterns, so accurate total loads are obviously, accurate, but in use might not be since they might drop 10 in a pass, when in RL they might use a smaller pattern at some times. <shrug>
Early war DDs carried very few, later in the war the CD ships and Matsus (we called them Des, though the IJN called them DDs) had over 100 per ship.
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