That's an impossible request. First, on player's "must have" is another player's "meh". This means that someone else might hate my mod list, and vice versa.
Second, what do you mean by "most of the big unified mods have ceased to continue"? GWX, LSH3, NYGM and WAC are all still going strong.
To me there are only two "must-haves": One of the four I just mentioned and SH3 Commander. Everything else is gravy. On the other hand I have a lot of gravy, with many many mods on top of it.
I recommend you read this thread
http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showthread.php?t=170090 and then start to think about what you want.